Late night venting
It's one in the morning and I can't sleep.
All day I have been wanting to text you
Just to tell you I miss you.
I sent a goodnight text and you reply that you hope I'm well and that we'll talk soon.
We have faded so far and it's all my fault.
I failed at being your friend. Because I tried to settle for what I have with you now but couldn't.
You are the perfect guy. Every single thing I dream of.
And just to be your friend isn't enough for me, apparently.
Because I will always have that spot inside of me that wishes that you'll open your eyes one day and see that i want to be with you.
To just call you mine..
Or
To just hold your hand would be a dream come true.
But it's a pathetic dream, right?
Because you will always see me as only a friend.
It would be so worthless to sit around and just wish for this all to come true.
And on Valentine's eve, when you told me deserved better? That I'll find a better guy?
I have never hated you so much right then. You have no idea.
No idea of how much I feel about you.
I tried to at least think of other guys but all I see is you.
I fear that you will follow me wherever I go.
I was so looking forward to college because I would get away from you and maybe find someone else but I found out you were going to the same college as me?
That just brings another two years with you.
And you'll still be charming good looking guy in college.
I can bet you anything that a girl will come around.
I'm suffering enough now, but I cannot even imagine the heart break I'll get when I see you with her.
I just want this to stop.
I'm so sorry I failed at being a friend.
I just can't fill this empty hole inside me with you being around everywhere I go.
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