So I woke up the next morning, like a burnt out candle. I woke up, I wasn't mad at you for the party anymore. I was mad at you and mostly myself. Why did I possibly even believe I had a chance? I was so so done with clinging on to you. I'm just so tired of waitin around for something that's obviously not going to happen.
So my genius logic thought I would get over you if I cut off all connections. Maybe if I stopped looking and talking to you, you'd leave me be. Maybe I can actually move on.
So I tried that out for a week. I didn't look at you.. The only word I spoke to you was "fine."
You did leave me be.
Then Friday I couldn't take it anymore. I hated ignoring you. I practically ran away after school. I heard Sofia calling after me as I speed walked and ignored her.
Sofia texted me: "Dude, I was trying to tell you but you were powerwalking away from me, Austin came into my 6th and asked about you. He asked if you were mad at him."
I asked "Why does he care about me? I have been nothing but a pain."
So tell me, Gilley! Why have you stuck around?
Do you pity me?
Do you enjoy the attention?
Why did you want me to continue the tumblr confession letters?
Why are you still reading this blog?
Why am I still writing these posts..
Why why do I hesitate near your house, about going to knock on your door and ask for you and just say sorry?
Every single time I go through these phases of wanting to get over you, I always go back to you. Like now. As I type, I want to literally hug you and never let go because this past week without connections with you has been hell. I tried to be fine but I'm not.
At first I just wanted you, just to have you around, but now it's like need you.
Isn't that ridiculous? What a joke, needing something that is so out of reach now.
Just.. Why?
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